Interview with England & GB Hockey No 14, Tess Howard

“I play because I love it. Hockey is one of my greatest passions. I’ll just go for it and see where it takes me. No-one ever regretted trying hard.”

Describing herself as, ‘Friendly, brave and passionate’, Tess (Tessa) made her debut for Great Britain in 2018. Playing midfield and wearing No 14, Howard currently has 76 combined caps (the number of times you play for your country) for England and GB and has scored 28 goals. Tess joined her first hockey club aged 11 and was soon playing for their ladies first team (1st XI). She went on to play for England’s U16’s, captaining the U18’s and winning European Championship Bronze in consecutive years. Tess joined the Elite Development Programme (EDP) and became full time at Bisham Abbey, home of GB and England Hockey, in October 2018. On the pitch she is dynamic and super skilful to watch. She gets the shots you think no one can reach. She unfortunately missed the 2020 Tokyo Olympics’ due to an ACL injury however she bounced back, scoring in her return game. And in 2022 she won Commonwealth Gold with England, in the thrilling final against Australia. Tess also plays club hockey for East Grinstead Ladies 1st XI, in the Women’s Vitality Premier League.

Off the pitch Tess is passionate about making a difference. Her dissertation which detailed the alarming rate at which girls dropped out of sport due to the clothing they have to wear, was adapted into an article in the Guardian. This turned into a real movement campaign with Howard the driving force behind it. She worked with England Hockey to change the rule that women and girls have to wear a skorts and as of March 3rd they updated this requirement. And with her help, her club East Grinstead, became the first in the country to include shorts as part of their team kit. It sounds so simple, but this is hugely progressive. Tess’s hard work doesn’t stop there. She is also studying for a Masters in Political Sociology and founded Inclusive Sportswear CIC, a not-for profit company designed to help develop inclusive sportswear policies for schools and clubs. And to top this off, she recently won The Times Changemaker award – one given to those who inspire others and use their platforms in a positive way to create change. Tess kindly found time to answer some questions for us:

1. What sports did you do when you were younger, and what did you enjoy about them?

   I started my sports journey by following my older brother to Cambridge rugby club to join the U6 boys’ team. I instantly felt I belonged and for the next five years every Sunday morning I had my little rugby bag packed – water, Lucozade, snack, rugby boots, grippy gloves, extra jumper – I loved the routine, and I loved playing even more. Freedom. I think I felt the rush of the ‘flow state’ for the first time on a rugby pitch. I only played one year of semi-contact before they said girls couldn’t play in the boys team anymore – I didn’t even realise it was odd I was the only girl. These were my friends and teammates, and quite frankly they all expressed they wanted and needed me in their team! Back then there were no girls teams and gender rules were strict so I stopped rugby and hopped down to Cambridge City hockey. The rest is history.

2. Can you remember how hockey first made you feel?

   A hockey stick is always a bit foreign to start, but my first session was awesome. It was everything: individual skill and dexterity, team tactics, passing, scoring, passion, bravery. I wasn’t naturally gifted and didn’t know many people at all so did feel a bit alone to begin with, but then I practiced more and more, and it felt like there was only ever hockey in my sights.

3. What does hockey give you, both mentally and physically?

   Hockey is my belonging and my freedom. When I was 13 and was ever stressed at school, in life or had a moment spare, I would go out onto my school Astro (I was lucky to have one at my school), I would put headphones in with my favourite music, and I would just play. It was a kind of rhythmic expression. It is the place I feel the most raw – pure passion, flow and mindfulness – you can’t be anywhere else but present. Physically it has given me strength and confidence, when I was young and even today, what my body can do on the hockey pitch has laid the groundwork for my body confidence, so much more than what it looks like. I am grateful to have a value system where power, strength and athleticism outranks idealised unachievable feminine aesthetics.

4. To someone who has never tried, why give hockey a go?

   Hockey is about the team, you’ll make friends for life – and it’s about how each individual plays their role in the team. That is the beauty. Team tactics and individual technical. Passion and bravery. Plus, anyone can play with anyone. The sticks level the playing field – it is completely equal in that regard for gender, body type, height, age. Grandparents can play with grandkids!

5. Do you ever get pre-match nerves and how do you manage these?

I always get pre-match nerves – it shows you care. I deal with them by knowing it is simply my body preparing for the battle. I take deep breaths to keep my calm, but I know I need to brave when I play and show up, fight hard so I make sure I do some good self-talk. Encouraging others helps me get out of my head and into the moment. Then before we play, I do a bit of visualisation, so I’m ready.

6. When did you realise you could play hockey professionally and what advice would you give to someone wanting to do the same?

When I was 14 I decided it was my dream to play for England U16.  But I didn’t actually think I wanted to be professional, I just wanted to be the best I could and keep learning and playing because I love it. After I didn’t get into U16 after my first trial at age 15, I didn’t lose hope and trained extremely hard. The next year I realised my dream to play for England U16. I rose through U18, U21 and into the Great Britain U23 hockey team within 3 years, but still didn’t think I wanted to be pro. Then I went to watch the hockey World Cup in 2018 in London, I sat and watched England lose to Holland in the Quarter Final. I started welling up seeing the senior players, and it hit me like a wave of butterflies – I wanted to be on that pitch and play with those players. Little did I know that 3 months later I would have senior trials and then be on a plane to China for my senior GB debut. My advice would be to know your why. My why is because I love the game, and that is what has helped me to senior level. But also find your super strength and harness that, own your character, it’s your USP and it will carry you all the way. Mine is bravery and passion. The rest falls into place. Final thing – believe in yourself, be your own hype person and just go for it.

7. The best and hardest thing about being pro?

The best part is playing hockey pretty much every day. I have always loved training, learning and being creative on the pitch. I get to ‘play’ come sun, rain, snow. The other best thing is to see some of my closest friends every day too and be committed as a team to a greater purpose – our GB vision ‘be the difference, inspire the future, create history’ is hugely meaningful to my life. Helping girls into hockey and find their power is the best thing! The hardest is balancing my hockey love/ obsession with my passion for academics. I’ve studied part-time for the last six years so I am used to it, but I do miss the university experience and debating with my classmates – I study politics and sociology so it’s always incredible to meet different people in my classes with different views, but I do wish I had more time for these experiences.

8. What is a week in the life of Tess Howard like?

Full time with GB at Bisham Abbey Monday and Tuesday – training 9am-5pm with gym, hockey, meetings, lunch as a squad – and I try do some uni work in the evenings after making dinner. Wednesdays I head into LSE (London School of Economics) for seminars and lectures, then on to East Grinstead for club training in the evening. Back at home I have a hot chocolate before bed! Thursday mornings I study and have a walk in nature or see a friend, then we are in Bisham again for meetings in the afternoon. Friday is GB training at Bisham with gym and hockey finishing 2pm. I relax and study the rest of the day ready for my club match on Saturday with East Grinstead. After the game, I chill with my teammates in the clubhouse or watch the men’s game. Then Sunday is a total day off – I might go visit a friend, have a lazy day at home, go walking, see my grandparents or smash some studying if I have an essay due, usually do some food prep for the week and watch a film in the evening.

9.  How did you motivate yourself during your ACL injury & rehab? Did you find sharing and documenting your journey helped?

I knew I would be back playing hockey if I did every single bit of rehab as best as I could. My main motivation was to get back for the World Cup and Commonwealth Games and see how strong I could make my body. I spent 12 months in the gym – it’s hard to keep happy the whole time and after 6 months I fell into a depression, lost myself and felt the mountain was too big to climb. It was a very hard few months. But New Years Eve changed my mindset. The clock ticking over and suddenly I wasn’t in ‘2021: the setback year’, I was in ‘2022: the comeback year’. And I found this new level of focus and purpose. It was this fire that kept me going through to May when I played my first international match. Sharing and documenting my journey every Tuesday on Instagram really helped me to keep track of my progress and give me little wins. One thing I really missed was my teammates and so this way I felt a bit connected to others. Towards the end of my rehab, I started a Support Group called ACL Legends, with hockey players who were also going through rehab. This has been one of the most rewarding things, to be able to mentor and help others. ACL rehab is no joke, and I couldn’t have done it without my GB physio Jen and training coach Roy. They were my little team for 12 months.

10. What inspired you to speak up about Hockey kit rules and how did you find yourself involved in the process with England Hockey?

Long story! My undergrad dissertation was on the impact of gendered school sport uniforms on girls participation and performance in sport. I found 70% of women have seen girls drop-out of sport because of sports kit and body image concerns. It has since been published and made into news articles. Sitting on this data - alongside all of the other reasons skorts create gender-binaries in schools and sport, the fact it produces athletic-feminine identity paradoxes, and fundamentally that they are impractical (show me a girl who chooses to run a fitness test in a skort?) – I felt I had to share it. I am uncomfortable in my GB skort, it feels like a pencil skirt, and every member of our team trains in shorts. I just didn’t know why we had never been given the option of shorts - it’s because the skort is a remnant of Victorian feminine ideals of women and emphasising female femininity to be acceptable in the realm of masculine sport. We have moved from long dresses to long skirts to skorts. But it is still a gender and sex identifier. I thought if I have this data and I feel this way, I can’t be the only one. I went to England Hockey and asked if we could change our kit policies. The domestic league guidelines changed to include the fact individuals can choose if they wear a skort or shorts. Genuine choice. The momentum is building internationally, and the GB women’s team have been the first to have a mix of shorts/skorts and thereby ‘be the difference, create history, and inspire the future’ (our vision). It makes me incredibly proud. The ‘why’ is for all those who have ever stopped playing the sport they love because of kit or body image concerns.

11. How do you unwind after a match?

I like to relax with friends and family after the game, soak in the atmosphere if we’ve won or debrief and chill if not. Then have a great dinner and I like to take my mind off the game in the evening, but to avoid replaying it in my head I need keep my brain occupied so I’ll watch something inspiring. I LOVE anything with female protagonists and love political / comedy shows and films. If I need to get back to myself, I’ll watch Mrs America or Pitch Perfect or Sister Act!

All images provided by Tess Howard