How sport can save your life - a true story
Ruth Fox has a really inspiring story. She has, and continues to, overcome some serious mental health issues. This hasn’t been easy but, throughout it all has been football.
Ruth is really sporty and started playing football when she was about seven. She’d play with her dad, play with the boys at school at lunchtime, revelling in the fact that she was the only girl, and joined a boys’ team. When she was 12 she joined a girls’ team and she loved it. This team became a support network for her during her teens as her mental health deteriorated.
When Ruth was 14 years old, her elder sister, who she lovingly describes as her best friend, left home to go to university and from that point, Ruth’s life as she knew it changed. She experienced a bereavement at the departure of her sister and started suffering from depression. “I lost myself, “ she tells me and although she was prescribed counselling, there was a six month wait and so instead relied on anti-depressants to help her.
Photo courtesy Ruth Fox
Throughout this,, football was her constant. It was on the pitch that she could escape her thoughts and focus on something else, pushing herself to perform at her best during training and matches. She loved the social aspect too. In her words she, “enjoyed it massively”
Sadly, though, throughout her teens, Ruth continued to experience mental health issues. Despite the anti-depressants, she struggled. She became obsessive about eating healthy food (orthorexia), standing over her parents as they cooked to analyse what was going into a meal, and started to over-exercise. She lost a lot of weight which led to her leaving her beloved football - she was so light that she was frequently being pushed over.
She returned to football a few years later and whilst studying for her A-Levels, her grandmother went into hospital and she relapsed. Ruth started self-harming and having suicidal thoughts. She couldn’t finish her A-Levels and further education didn’t work out either. She was back at home and finding life really tough.
Ruth decided that she would document her experiences. She wanted to do something positive to prevent other people treading the same path as her and the result was a short self-published book.
Photo courtesy Ruth Fox
The book gained local media attention and she was offered a book deal. She wrote ‘Within the White Lines: How the Beautiful Game Saved my Life’ with an editor and went on to appear on all the major news channels. Not only that but she was asked to speak in schools - the original intention of the book, of helping to prevent other young people following in her footsteps, was becoming a reality.
In January 2019, she joined St Ives Town, Cambridgeshire, UK and football was once again a release. But it could only do so much. Ruth hadn’t realised the impact talking about her past experiences would have on her and going over them again in her new role as a public speaker became too much. In 2019, Ruth spent 28 days in hospital due to her mental health condition. Interestingly, every time her parents picked her up, the first place she wanted to visit was the football club to see her team mates.
Ruth playing football
Since her last stay in hospital, Ruth has been working on her recovery and of course, playing football. She loves the adrenaline rush of playing and admits that it means more to her, these days, to score a goal because of her journey. That high can be quickly replaced by a ‘low’ that the game is over and her brain is filled with unhelpful thoughts but Ruth knows how to handle those situations better, busying herself in some way to distract her mind.
Interestingly, one of the benefits of playing football and being a member of a club that she refers to throughout the interview is the ‘family feel’ and how there is always someone to talk to. It has helped her social skills too. Previously she had felt awkward in social situations, anxious and self-conscious but St Ives Town has helped her, “come out of my shell. I now feel more comfortable socialising in different situations.”
In lockdown, Ruth has been busy cycling. As she was in hospital for 28 days last year, she is cycling to 28 places that have played a part in her mental health journey, a mission that brings with it painful memories but moments of joy as she cycles away home.
What would she say to anyone who finds themselves feeling the same as she has?
Reach out and talk to someone. A parent or friend or health professional such as your GP.
Try to accept who you are as a person. Accept your flaws.
Consider therapy. Ruth has two therapy sessions a week and says that they help her to accept things for how they are.
Find something that you love to do and if it’s outside, all the better.
Ruth has been tackled by life again and again and keeps getting back up to rejoin the ‘match’. Football is where she feels comfortable and football embraces her every time.
“I can just be me on the football pitch. I want to be me as a player in real life.”